Continues on the same subject and gives some advice about how to act in this prayer of quiet. Discusses the fact that many souls reach this prayer but few pass beyond. Knowledge of the things touched on here is very necessary and beneficial.
NOW LET’S RETURN TO THE SUBJECT. This quietude and recollection is something that is clearly felt through the satisfaction and peace bestowed on the soul, along with great contentment and calm and a very gentle delight in the faculties. It seems to the soul, since it hasn’t gone further, that there’s nothing left to desire and that it should willingly say with St. Peter that it will make its dwelling there.1 It dares not move or stir, for it seems that good will slip through its hands nor would it even want to breathe sometimes. The poor little thing doesn’t understand that since by its own efforts it can do nothing to draw that good to itself, so much less will it be able to keep it for longer than the Lord desires.
I have already mentioned that in this first recollection and quiet the soul’s faculties do not cease functioning. But the soul is so satisfied with God that as long as the recollection lasts, the quiet and calm are not lost since the will is united with God even though the two faculties are distracted; in fact, little by little the will brings the intellect and the memory back to recollection. Because even though the will may not be totally absorbed, it is so well occupied, without knowing how, that no matter what efforts the other two faculties make, they cannot take away its contentment and joy. But rather with hardly any effort the will is gradually helped so that this little spark of love of God may not go out.
2. May it please His Majesty to give me grace to explain this state well because there are many, many souls who reach it but few that pass beyond; and I don’t know whose fault it is. Most surely God does not fail, for once His Majesty has granted a soul the favor of reaching this stage, I don’t believe He will fail to grant it many more favors unless through its own fault.
It is very important that the soul reaching this stage realize the great dignity of its state and the great favor the Lord has bestowed on it and how with good reason it must not belong to the earth because it now seems His goodness will make it a citizen of heaven, provided it doesn’t stop through its own fault; and unhappy it will be if it turns back. I think turning back would mean falling to the bottom, as I was doing, if the mercy of the Lord hadn’t rescued me. For the most part, in my opinion, this turning back will come through serious faults; nor is it possible to leave so much good without the blindness caused by much evil.
3. Thus, for the love of the Lord, I beg those whom His Majesty has so highly favored in the attainment of this state that they understand it and esteem it with a humble and holy confidence so as not to return to the fleshpots of Egypt.2 If through weakness and wickedness and a miserable nature they should fall, as I did, let them keep ever in mind the good they have lost and be suspicious and walk with the fear—for they are right in doing so—that if they don’t return to prayer, they will go from bad to worse. What I call a true fall is abhorrence of the path by which one gained so much good; and to these souls I am speaking. For I am not saying that they should never offend God or fall into sin, although it would be right for anyone who has begun to receive these favors to be very much on guard against sinning; but we are miserable creatures. What I advise strongly is not to abandon prayer, for in prayer people will understand what they are doing and win repentance from the Lord and fortitude to lift themselves up. And you must believe that if you give up prayer, you are, in my opinion, courting danger. I don’t know if I understand what I’m saying because, as I said,3 I’m judging by myself.
4. This prayer, then, is a little spark of the Lord’s true love which He begins to enkindle in the soul; and He desires that the soul grow in the understanding of what this love accompanied by delight is. For anyone who has experience, it is impossible not to understand soon that this little spark cannot be acquired. Yet, this nature of ours is so eager for delights that it tries everything; but it is quickly left cold because however much it may desire to light the fire and obtain this delight, it doesn’t seem to be doing anything else than throwing water on it and killing it. If this quietude and recollection and little spark is from God’s spirit and not a delight given by the devil or procured by ourselves, it will be noticed no matter how small it is. And if we don’t extinguish it through our own fault, it is what will begin to enkindle the large fire that (as I shall mention in its place)4 throws forth flames of the greatest love of God which His Majesty gives to perfect souls.
5. This little spark is the sign or the pledge God gives to this soul that He now chooses it for great things if it will prepare itself to receive them. This spark is a great gift, much more so than I can express.
As I say,5 I know many souls that reach this stage, but to me it is a terrible pity that those that pass beyond, as they should, are so few I am ashamed to mention it. I do not mean there are few; there must be many, for there must be some reason why God allows us to live. I am speaking from what I have seen. I should very much like to advise these souls to be careful not to hide the talent6 since it seems God desires to choose them to bring profit to many others, especially in these times when staunch friends of God are necessary to sustain the weak. And those who are aware of this favor within themselves may consider that they are such friends if they know how to respond according to the laws that even a good friendship in the world demands; otherwise, as I said7 they should be fearful lest they bring evil upon themselves—and please God it would then fall only upon themselves!
6. What the soul must do during these times of quiet amounts to no more than proceeding gently and noiselessly. What I call noise is running about with the intellect looking for many words and reflections so as to give thanks for this gift and piling up one’s sins and faults in order to see that the gift is unmerited. Everything is motion here; the intellect is representing, and the memory hurrying about. For certainly these faculties tire me out from time to time; and although I have a poor memory, I cannot subdue it. The will calmly and wisely must understand that one does not deal well with God by force and that our efforts are like the careless use of large pieces of wood which smother this little spark. One should realize this and humbly say: “Lord, what am I capable of here? What has the servant to do with the Lord—or earth with heaven?” Or other words that at this time come to mind out of love and well grounded in the knowledge that what is said is the truth. And one should pay no attention to the intellect, for it is a grinding mill. The will may desire to share what it enjoys or may work to recollect the intellect, for often it will find itself in this union and calm while the intellect wanders about aimlessly. It is better that the will leave the intellect alone than go after it, and that it remain like a wise bee in the recollection and in enjoyment of that gift. For if no bee were to enter the beehive and each were employed in going after the other, no honey could be made.
7. As a result, the soul will lose a great deal if it isn’t careful in this matter, especially if the intellect is keen. For when the soul begins to compose speeches and search for ideas, though insignificant, it will think it is doing something if they are well expressed. The idea it should have here is a clear understanding that there isn’t any idea that will make God give us so great a favor but that this favor comes only from His goodness; and it should be aware that we are very near His Majesty and ask for His gifts and pray for the Church and for those who have asked for our prayers and for the souls in purgatory, not with the noise of words but with longing that He hear us. This is a kind of prayer that includes many things and in which more is obtained than through a great deal of reflection by the intellect. Let the will awaken within itself some spontaneous considerations verifying its progress so as to quicken this love, and let it make some loving acts about what it will do for one to whom it owes so much without, as I said,8 admitting noise from the intellect which goes about looking for great concepts. In fact, a little straw put there with humility—and it will be less than a straw if we put it on ourselves—will serve the purpose and help more to enkindle the fire than a lot of wood along with much learned reasoning. These, in our opinion, would smother the spark within the space of a Creed.
This advice is good for the learned men who ordered me to write. For, through the goodness of God, all may reach this prayer; and it may happen that these learned men will pass the time in making scriptural applications. Although their studies will not cease to benefit them a lot before and afterward, here during these periods of prayer there is little need for learning, in my opinion; rather, their studies will make the will tepid. For in seeing itself near the light, the intellect then has the greatest clarity; and I, though being what I am, seem to be another person.
8. And, in fact, it has happened to me that while in this quietude, and understanding hardly anything of the Latin prayers, especially of the psalter, I have not only understood how to render the Latin verse in the vernacular but have gone beyond to rejoicing in the meaning of the verse.
I am not speaking of those who have to preach or teach, for in that case it is good to take advantage of those studies so as to aid the poor ones who, like myself, have little knowledge. Charity in helping souls is always a great thing, provided this help is given for God alone.
Therefore, in these times of quietude, let the soul remain in its repose; let them put their learning to one side. The time will come when it will be useful for the Lord; they should esteem it so that they do not desire to abandon it for any treasure but to use it only to serve His Majesty, for it is very helpful. Believe me, in the presence of infinite Wisdom, a little study of humility and one act of humility is worth more than all the knowledge of the world. Here there is no demand for reasoning but for knowing what as a matter of fact we are and for placing ourselves (with simplicity) in God’s presence, for He desires the soul to become ignorant in His presence, as indeed it is. His Majesty humbles Himself so much that He allows us to be near Him in spite of what we are.
9. The intellect is also stirred to compose prayers of thanksgiving; but the will, calmly, without daring to raise its eyes, like the publican,9 gives better thanks than the intellect can perhaps express with all its rhetorical artifices. Finally, at this stage one doesn’t have to renounce completely discursive mental prayer or the use of some words, or even vocal prayers if there should be the desire or ability; if the quiet is great, it is difficult to speak without a good deal of effort.
We can discern, in my opinion, whether this quiet comes from the spirit of God or whether we procure it ourselves once God begins to give devotion and we, as I said;10 want to pass on to the quiet through our own efforts. When we procure the quiet ourselves, it produces no effect, quickly goes away, and leaves behind aridity.
10. If the quiet is from the devil, I think an experienced soul will recognize this because it results in disturbance and a lack of humility and of preparation for the effects which the prayer coming from God produces. It doesn’t leave light in the intellect or constancy in truth. The devil can do little harm or none at all if the soul directs to God the delight and sweetness it feels and fixes its thoughts and desires upon Him, as was advised. The devil can’t gain anything; rather, God will permit that the devil, by means of the very delight he causes in the soul, will lose much. For this delight will prompt the soul—since it thinks God gives the delight—to return often to prayer with longing for the Lord. And if it is a humble soul and not inquisitive or concerned about delights, even though they be spiritual, but a friend of the cross, it will pay little attention to the consolation given by the devil. It will be unable to pay little attention to the consolation coming from the spirit of God but will highly esteem it. But anything the devil gives is like himself; a total lie. When the devil sees that in this consolation the soul humbles itself (for in this experience it must have much humility, as in all matters of prayer), he will not return often, because he sees his loss.
11. For this reason and many others, I counseled in dealing with the first mode of prayer, the first water,11 that it is an important matter for beginners in prayer to start off by becoming detached from every kind of satisfaction and to enter the path solely with the determination to help Christ carry the cross like good cavaliers, who desire to serve their king at no salary since their salary is certain. We should fix our eyes on the true and everlasting kingdom which we are trying to gain. It is very important to keep this kingdom always in mind, especially in the beginning. For afterward it is seen so clearly that rather than striving to keep remembering the short time everything lasts and how everything is nothing and how rest should be considered no more than a trifle, it is necessary to forget these things in order to live.
12. It seems this is a very poor way of thinking—and so it is. For those who are advanced in perfection would consider it an affront and would be ashamed if they thought they should give up the good things of this world because these things will come to an end; even if these things were to last forever, advanced souls would be happy to renounce them for God. And the more perfect these souls are, the happier they would be; and the longer the things last, still happier would they be. For here in these souls love has now increased, and it is love that is at work. But for beginners this advice is most important, and they should not hold it in little esteem, for what is obtained is a great good—and that is why I give this advice so strongly. This advice will even be necessary sometimes for those who have reached a very exalted prayer when God desires to try them and when it seems that His Majesty is abandoning them. As I already said;12 and I wouldn’t want this to be forgotten, in this life the soul doesn’t grow like the body, even though we say it grows and in fact it does. After a child grows up and develops a strong body and becomes an adult, the body doesn’t dwindle and grow small again. But in the case of the soul, the Lord desires this to happen, according to what I have seen for myself; for otherwise I wouldn’t know. The purpose must be to humiliate us for our own great good and so that we might not become careless while in this exile, since the one who goes highest must fear the most and trust the less in self. There come times when it is necessary for these souls to protect themselves from offending God. Their wills are so fixed in His that rather than commit an imperfection, they would allow themselves to be tormented and would suffer a thousand deaths. But since they are attacked by temptations and persecutions, it becomes necessary, in order to avoid sin, to make use of prayer’s first weapons and return to the thought that everything will end and that there is a heaven and a hell and other things of this sort.
13. Well, returning to what I was saying,13 a solid foundation for the protection of oneself from the tricks and consolations coming from the devil is to begin with the determination to follow the way of the cross and not desire consolations, since the Lord Himself pointed out this way of perfection saying: take up your cross and follow me.14 He is our model; whoever follows His counsels solely for the sake of pleasing Him has nothing to fear.
14. In the progress they observe in themselves they will know that the devil is not the cause if, even though they fall again, there remains a sign that the Lord was present in their prayer: and it is that they rise again quickly. There are other signs as well which I shall now mention. When the prayer comes from God’s spirit, there is no need to go dredging up things in order to derive some humility and shame because the Lord Himself gives this prayer in a manner very different from that which we gain through our nice little reasonings. For such humility is nothing in comparison with the true humility the Lord with His light here teaches and which causes an embarrassment that undoes one. It is well known that God gives a knowledge that makes us realize we have no good of ourselves; and the greater the favors, the greater is this knowledge. He bestows a strong desire to advance in prayer and not abandon it no matter what trial may come upon one. The soul offers itself up in all things. It feels sure, while still being humble and fearing, that it will be saved. He casts out from it all servile fear and grants a more mature trusting fear. It is aware of the beginning of a love of God that has much less self-interest. It desires periods of solitude in order to enjoy that good more.
15. In sum, so as not to tire myself, this prayer of quiet is the beginning of all blessings. The flowers are already at the point in which hardly anything is lacking for them to bud; and the soul sees this very clearly. In no way is it able to believe at that time that God is not with it. When it sees again the cracks and imperfections in itself, it then fears everything. And it is good that it is fearful, although there are some souls that profit more by believing that this prayer comes certainly from God than by all the fears possible. For if by nature someone is loving and grateful, the memory of the favor God has granted does more to bring such a person back to God than all the infernal punishments imaginable. At least this happened in my case, even though I am so wretched.
16. Because the signs of the good spirit will be mentioned as I go along and it is so difficult for me to explain them well, I won’t speak of them now. I believe that with the help of God I shall in this way somehow succeed. Apart from my experience in which I have understood a great deal, I know about these from some very learned men and very holy persons who are worthy of belief. And when souls reach this stage, through the goodness of God, may they not go about as wearied as I did.