Continues with the same subject, the explanation of this third degree of prayer. Concludes the discussion of its effects. Speaks of the harm caused here by the imagination and memory.
AREASONABLE ACCOUNT has been given of this kind of prayer and of what the soul must do, or better, what God does in it, for it is He who now takes on the task of gardener and wants it to rest. The will only gives its consent to these favors it enjoys; and it should offer itself to all that the true Wisdom desires to do in it because courage is certainly necessary. For the joy is so great that it sometimes seems the soul is at the very point of going forth from the body. And what a happy death that would be!
2. Here I think it is advisable, as I told Your Reverence,1 to abandon oneself completely into the hands of God: if He wants to bring the soul to heaven, it goes, if to hell, it feels no grief since it goes with its God; if its life comes to an end, this it desires; if it lives a thousand years, this too it desires. Let His Majesty treat it as His own—the soul no longer belongs to itself. It is given over entirely to the Lord—it completely overlooks itself. I say that when God gives the soul so lofty a prayer, it can do all of this and much more since these are its effects. And it understands that it does so without tiring the intellect. I only think it is amazed at seeing how good a gardener the Lord is and how He doesn’t desire it to do any of the work other than delight in the fragrance the flowers are beginning to give. For in one of these visits, however brief, the water is given without measure because the gardener is who He is—in truth, the creator of the water. And what the poor soul could not achieve in about twenty years with its labors to bring repose to the intellect, this heavenly gardener accomplishes in a moment. And the fruit grows and matures in such a way that the soul can be sustained from its garden if the Lord so desires. But He doesn’t give it permission to distribute fruit until it is very strong from what it has eaten; otherwise it will be giving it to others to taste without their receiving any profit or gain, maintaining them and giving them to eat at its own cost; and perhaps it will itself be left dead from hunger. This possibility has been explained well for those who are learned men, and they will know how to make the application better than I know how to explain it through my own efforts.
3. In sum, the virtues are now stronger than in the previous prayer of quiet. The soul can’t ignore them, because it seems that it is different and doesn’t know how this happened. It begins to perform great deeds by means of the fragrance the flowers give, for the Lord desires that they bloom so that it may see that it possesses virtue although it is very clearly aware that it couldn’t have acquired them—nor was it able to—in many years, and also that in that moment the heavenly gardener gave them. Here the humility that remains in the soul is much greater and more profound than in the past. The soul sees more clearly that it did neither little nor much other than consent to the Lord’s favors and embrace them with its will.
It seems to me this kind of prayer is a very apparent union of the whole soul with God. But seemingly His Majesty desires to give leeway to the faculties so that they may understand and rejoice in the many things He is accomplishing here.
4. In order that Your Reverence may see what can happen and understand when it does happen to you—at least I was confused for a while, and that’s why I’m speaking of it here—let me say that it sometimes, or very often, comes about that while the will is united, the soul sees clearly and understands that the will is held fast and is rejoicing. I say “it sees clearly,” and that the will alone is in deep quiet; and the intellect and the memory, on the other hand, are so free that they can tend to business affairs and engage in works of charity.
Although this prayer seems entirely the same as the prayer of quiet I mentioned,2 it is different—partly because in the prayer of quiet the soul didn’t desire to move or stir, rejoicing in that holy idleness of Mary; and in this prayer it can also be Martha in such a way that it is as though engaged in both the active and contemplative life together. It tends to works of charity and to business affairs that have to do with its state of life and to reading; although it isn’t master of itself completely. And it understands clearly that the best part of the soul is somewhere else. It’s as though we were speaking to someone at our side and from the other side another person were speaking to us; we wouldn’t be fully attentive to either the one or the other. This prayer is something that is felt very clearly, and it gives deep satisfaction and happiness when it is experienced. It is an excellent preparation so that the soul may reach a profound quiet when it has time for solitude, or leisure from business matters. It causes the soul to go about like people whose appetite is satisfied and who have no need to eat but feel that they have taken enough so that they wouldn’t desire just any kind of food; yet they are not so ruled that they wouldn’t eagerly eat some if it were tempting to the appetite. The soul is therefore neither content with nor desirous of the world’s satisfactions, because it has in itself what pleases it more; greater consolations from God—desires to satisfy its desire to enjoy Him more and to be with Him. Being with Him is what it wants.
5. There is another kind of union, which, although it is not a complete union, is greater than the union just mentioned but not as great as that which was mentioned in reference to this third water.3
Since the Lord may give them all to you if you have not already received them, Your Reverence will be pleased to find them written down and will understand what they are. For it is one grace to receive the Lord’s favor; another, to understand which favor and grace it is; and a third, to know how to describe and explain it. And although no more than the first grace seems necessary, it is a great advantage and a gift for the soul that it also understand the favor so as not to go about confused and afraid—and so that it may become more courageous in following the path of the Lord, trampling under its feet all worldly things. Each one of these graces is a reason for those who receive it to praise the Lord greatly and, also, for those who may not receive it to praise Him because His Majesty gave it to one of the living so that that person might help the rest of us.
Well, now, this kind of union I wish to explain often happens—especially to me since God frequently gives me this kind of favor. For God takes to Himself the will and even the intellect, it seems to me, so that it might not engage in discourse but be occupied with rejoicing in Him like those who are contemplating and who see so much that they don’t know where to fix their gaze—looking now here, now there, without being able to perceive clearly any one thing. The memory remains free, but it seems to be joined with the imagination. And since it sees itself alone,4 the war it wages is something to behold—how it strives to disturb everything. As for me, I find the memory tiresome and abhorrent; and I often beseech the Lord that He take it away during these periods if it is going to bother me so much. Sometimes I say to Him: “When, my God, will my soul be completely joined together in Your praise and not broken in pieces, unable to make use of itself?” Here I see the evil that sin causes in us since it so holds us in its power that we cannot do what we desire to do in order to be always occupied in God.
6. I say it sometimes happens to me—and today was one of these times, so I remember it vividly—that I see my soul become undone in the desire to be united there where the greater part is, and this is impossible; rather the imagination and memory carry on such a war that the soul is left powerless. Since the other faculties have ceased to function, these two are of no avail, not even for doing harm. They do a great deal though by their disturbance. I say “not even for doing harm” because they do not have the strength nor can they concentrate on one thing. Since the intellect gives them neither much nor little assistance in what they represent to it, they don’t rest in anything but flit from one thing to the other; they are like little moths at night, bothersome and annoying: so they go from one extreme to the other. This comparison, I think, gets to the point because they don’t have the strength to do any harm—they are an annoyance to those who see them.
I don’t know what remedy there is for this since until now God hasn’t made one known to me. I would be glad to find out one, for, as I say, the imagination and memory often torment me. Both our great misery and, very clearly, the tremendous power of God are manifested here. For the faculties that run loose weary and harm us so much; and those that are with His Majesty give us repose.
7. The only remedy I have found, after having tired myself out for many years, is the one I mentioned in speaking of the prayer of quiet:5 to pay no more attention to the memory than one would to a madman —leave it go its way, for only God can stop it and, in truth, here it remains as a slave. We must suffer it with patience as Jacob did Leah, for the Lord does us a great favor in allowing us to enjoy Rachel.6 I say “it remains as a slave” because in fact the memory is unable—no matter what it does—to gather to itself the other faculties; rather, without any labor, they often make the memory come to them. Sometimes God is pleased to take pity when seeing the memory so lost and disturbed and desirous of being with the others, and His Majesty consents to its being burnt in the fire of that divine candle where the others are already reduced to dust since they have lost their natural being and are almost supernatural in their enjoyment of such great blessings.
8. In all these ways in which this last water comes from the spring I mentioned,7 the glory and repose of the soul is so great that the body very perceivably shares in that joy and delight; it does so “very perceivably,” and the virtues are as advanced as I have mentioned.8
It seems that the Lord has desired to explain as much of these states in which the soul finds itself as can be understood here below. Your Reverence can discuss this explanation with a spiritual person who has experienced these states and who is also learned. If he should say that the explanation is all right, believe that it was given by God and thank His Majesty very much for it. Because, as I have said,9 with the passing of time individuals will be very glad to understand what it is; even though they are given the grace to enjoy it, they aren’t given the grace to understand it. If His Majesty has given you the grace to enjoy this prayer, you will through your intelligence and learning understand what is said here. May He be praised for everything throughout all ages, amen.