31.
(Ávila, Incarnation, Nov. 18, 1572)
Spiritual Marriage

While at the Incarnation in the second year that I was prioress, on the octave of the feast of St. Martín, when I was receiving Communion, Father John of the Cross1 who was giving me the Blessed Sacrament broke the host to provide for another Sister. I thought there was no lack of hosts but that he wanted to mortify me because I had told him it pleased me very much when the hosts were large (not that I didn’t understand that the size made no difference with regard to the Lord’s being wholly present, even when the particle is very small). His Majesty said to me: “Don’t fear, daughter, for no one will be a party to separating you from Me,” making me thereby understand that what just happened didn’t matter. Then He appeared to me in an imaginative vision, as at other times, very interiorly, and He gave me His right hand and said: “Behold this nail; it is a sign you will be My bride from today on. Until now you have not merited this; from now on not only will you look after My honor as being the honor of your Creator, King, and God, but you will look after it as My true bride. My honor is yours, and yours Mine.” This favor produced such an effect in me I couldn’t contain myself, and I remained as though entranced. I asked the Lord either to raise me from my lowliness or not grant me such a favor; for it didn’t seem to me my nature could bear it. Throughout the whole day I remained thus very absorbed. Afterward I felt great pain, and greater confusion and affliction at seeing I don’t render any service in exchange for such amazing favors.